Sarah Palin is an Angry White Man

First published on BlogCritics on 14 June 2009.

PARODY or SATIRES I can't figure out which.

This is to honor all true patriots as they go boldly forth to silence evil voices.



The United States is distressingly full of angry white men, most of them inflamed by the vast hate media now infesting the country.

The number of angry white men in America is getting larger, said Chip Berlet, senior analyst with Political Research Associates in Somerville, Mass., a think tank that studies right-wing extremists.

In particular, the heterosexual, white, Christian men in America feel they've been pushed out of the way, Berlet said. Attacking the Holocaust Museum is a no-brainer, he said, because white supremacists blame Jews for the advancement of black people.

"The idea that blacks are put in positions of power by crafty Jews is central to their conspiracy theory," Berlet said.

Sarah Palin, previously known primarily for hunting endangered species and for her perverted penchant for expensive clothing and "makeup from Bloomingdale's to update her "slutty flight attendant look," recently called for an uprising against one of America's most beloved liberal communicators, Mr. David Letterman. Ms. Palin -- who masquerades as a woman but is only a non-woman thing in heels -- had the unmitigated gall to tell her minions that what she (and other conservative fanatics) strangely perceived as a grievous insult to her young tramp of a daughter should be met with violence against the greatly respected Mr. Letterman! Soon, there will be calls from Faux News, the Washington Slimes and the other purveyors of conservative filth for violence toward all who support President Obama's excellent and necessary reforms of the wickedness known as the United States. That wickedness, for which President Obama has had to spend most of his time in office apologizing, must not be revived.

Any conservative, but seemingly peaceful, slob could be a secret terrorist, insanely angered by the malicious reporting he so adores, and moved to strike without warning; it does not take a village, or even a well organized militia of evil doers:

"It could be anyone. It could be the guy next door, living in the basement of his mother's place, on the Internet just building himself up with hate, building himself up to a boiling point and finally using what he's learned," said John Perren, head of the counterterrorism branch at the FBI's Washington field office.

This is dreadful!  They must all be put under surveillance and stopped.

When will this travesty end? Is the United States doomed by these conservative cretins? Must the sane majority sit idly by and just watch it happen? NO! We must demand that all who reject the wise guidance and mercy of our President, and of the mainstream media which quite properly support him, be banished. Then, and only then, can joyous apathy prevail.

Soon after President Obama ascended bodily to the Presidency,  the Department of Homeland Security, responsibly and correctly, pointed out that those most pitiful of all creatures in the United States -- those who cling to their guns, their bibles, their religion and their patently false right wing opinions about such trash as the supremacy of the U.S. Constitution -- present a clear and present danger to the United States.  Partisans on the right pretended, in their uniquely obnoxious way, to be offended, and claimed that the notion was insulting and absurd. They did so even though President Obama himself had used many of the very same words in his widely acclaimed California speech during his successful campaign for a mandate to ascend to the Presidency! They have sunk far lower than ever before; they are the national village idiot and must be stopped, now. Boy, were we wrong ever to listen to them!

For a lucid analysis of the problem, here's an opinion piece -- surprisingly,  from a lamentably popular right wing rag, the New York Times. It is a "must read" for all sane people interested in saving the United States from certain death and destruction.

There is . . . one important thing that the D.H.S. report didn’t say: Today, as in the early years of the Clinton administration but to an even greater extent, right-wing extremism is being systematically fed by the conservative media and political establishment.

***

[W]hatever dividing line there was between mainstream conservatism and the black-helicopter crowd seems to have been virtually erased.

Despite the barely veiled racist reference to "black" helicopters, it is refreshing that even a far right smear sheet such as the New York Times has finally mustered the courage to abandon its ludicrous Conservative stance, at least briefly, to tell us this.

The immensely wise President of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez, may his holy name be praised, has thoughtfully provided guidance: the perpetrators of this vicious right wing treason must be deprived of all opportunity to spew their filth and disorder; they must be severely punished. Tea Parties, formerly known as necktie parties, are symptomatic of the evils which threaten Democracy as we have, albeit recently, come to know and love it in the United States; even the minds of the very few "moderate" conservatives are warped by them. Indeed, Republicans

have become embarrassing to watch. And it doesn’t feel right to make fun of crazy people. Better, perhaps, to focus on the real policy debates, which are all among Democrats.

Tea Parties -- and, truth to tell, Republicans and all other Conservatives as well -- need to be prohibited, NOW, as were their predecessor necktie parties.

We need a new and improved Fairness Doctrine, which will bring true fairness and justice to the public airwaves, as well as to the ubiquitous and very public internet. We won, we own them, and we must control them! The mere fact that conservatives, of all stripes, oppose this salutary change in which we can and must believe shows only that it is badly needed. Only when it has been restored, with greater fairness and impact than ever before, will the catatonic clamoring of the cretinous, backward (and also backwoods) far right be stopped.

After being tried, convicted and justly punished for their heinous crimes against humanity, those who oppose democracy, justice and freedom, as we have come to know and love them under President Obama, must be deported, never again to mock the name of the United States from her own shores. Yes! We Can!  Even though no sanely governed country would take them, we must continue to try as best we can to rid the United States of this despicable scourge.